My Little Lifetime...

It's been too long...

2010-07-13T12:00:00.003+10:00

Waaaay too long.

Ok, so I will come clean about the previous post. I think I need to get it out of my system.

My fiance drinks. Everyday. Well thats not entirely true, there is the odd day here or there usually after a big night out that he wont.

It pisses me off.

Now to be fair, he works - pretty long hours and never stays home sick, he even went back to work the day after he broke his foot (not a cushy office job, he is in a trade). It's not a problem financially. He is not violent. He still does shit around the house that is his responsibility. He is still a perfectly good father to our child. He's not hanging out drinking at the pub til all hours playing pokies and such. He is at home.

So he can't understand why I bitch and moan about his drinking. He gets quite defensive if I mention it and goes on about all the above stuff and why should it bother me if A B and C is done etc etc.

Now I am not saying that he is rolling drunk everynight drinking a bottle of whisky and passing out. But the amount of alcohol concerns me. I would say it would be between 5-10 beers per weeknight after work and more on weekends, probably starting around lunchtime. I know that sounds an awful lot, but a six pack of beer certainly isnt getting him wasted.

I hate the fact when he comes home from work, before he even walks in the door he grabs a beer from the garage fridge. He will take his beer in the bathroom whilst having a shower. Now this is disgusting to admit, but in the past he has even had sips of beer during sex. Feral. Let me tell you, if that isn't a passion killer I don't know what is.

He falls asleep early most nights, around the same time as our son, so 8.30/9pm. He will tell ya its because he starts work early and is tired. But on the odd occasions when he is not drinking he will be up til 10ish. So we are not really spending any time alone.

Now don't be thinking that I don't drink at all. I can get quite loaded when I am out and want too! But that's just it. I am a social drinker. I will not sit at home and have a glass of red just for the sake of it. I will drink if I go out for dinner or parties etc. But I can take it or leave it. I can quite easily go out for dinner and have nothing or maybe 1 if I am driving. Does not bother me in the slighest. I would say I drink maybe 3-4 times a month and the majority of those times it would just be a couple of glasses of wine at dinner.

I just can't wrap my head around why someone would feel the need to drink every day.

:-(

2009-10-15T11:16:00.002+11:00

Today I am feeling really sad.

I feel that I have a rather life changing decision to make, one that I have been putting off for a while.

I don't want to do what I know I have to. I don't know if I actually have the strength to do it yet.

I am afraid of the dramas my decision may cause.

I'm not ready to even discolse to the interwebs exactly what is going on.

Hmmmm.

It's been a year?????

2009-09-28T14:13:00.006+10:00

Holy crap.

I will have to think up something AWESOME to blog about.

But I can't think of anything. Having a 10 month old child will do that to you, I guess.

That being said, I have had the greatest year so far of my life. Being a mummy to my gorgeous little boy Nash is most definately the best thing I have ever done.

Here's a couple of pics...

See... he is a cutie, ya gotta agree!!!

The funny thing about parenthood is that you go into it with all these great plans for what kind of parent you are going to be and what you will and will not do in certain situations. I have had to go and eat a big ass slice of humble pie recently. Top 2 being......

TV is not a babysitter

Hell yeah it is!!!! I can plonk him down in front of Dora the Explorer or Yo Gabba Gabba and get plently of *ahem* housework done. Although I am at the point where if I have to watch the same Dora episode one more time I might just off myself.

I will not cage my child

Not really, but those playpen things are a GODSEND. Nash is turbo crawling at the moment and kid is obssesed with the tv cabinet, foxtel box and vertical blinds, among other things. If I even look away for half a second he is into one of the aforementioned. At least now I can go to the loo knowing that my blinds are still going to be up when I get back.

I still really don't like kid-leashes and am totally not ever going to use them, but ask me again in a few months and we'll see if the answer is still the same.

I am officially OLD

2008-09-05T15:22:00.003+10:00

That's right. I am.

I just ordered my first set of Tupperware.

You can tease me now.

I *might* be starting to move on to my nesting stage of this pregnancy. Considering I spent last weekend on my hands and knees (!) pulling apart and scrubbing every inch of my refrigerator. Add to that dusting and polishing skirting boards, vacuuming, windexing every square inch of glass in the house, mopping..... you get the point.

I have made plans with myself to clean out the kitchen pantry this weekend and get rid of food that expired 3 years ago. Then when my tupperware arrives I can sort all the flours and sugars etc into these wonderful plastic containers that I can make labels for and stack neatly.

Seriously, someone slap me now. I know what I am doing is so far removed from how I am normally I just can't stop myself. Fiance thinks it's a friggin hoot, as he is the one who normally does all the cleaning. I am a tidier and want to have things in the right spot, but I don't care much about dust or fingerprints on glass, or the vacuuming.....

I also fully intend to go to Ikea first thing on Wednesday morning to purchase some pretty storage boxes and cane baskets to sort out the spare room (which is currently a dumping ground).

I do hope this phase at least lasts until I sort this house out. That would be fabulous. At least it gives me something to do rather than just sit on my ass watching foxtel all day.

I am still alive....

2008-09-04T15:13:00.003+10:00

Ok, ok, I will write something.

Thanks Andy for the little push.

I have been busy, tired and lethargic lately and to be honest, blogging was not on the top of my to do list (sorries!). It seems whenever I get a spare 5 mins I am laying down & closing my eyes. I have been really caught up with work lately as we had a girl leave (mind you, there were only 3 of us!) and took us about 6 weeks to get a replacement this week. So slowly things are returning to normal around the office. Not for long though.... I have informed the director I will be cutting my hours back to part time effective next week. YAY! My commute every day is at least an hour each way, stuck in traffic, job is stressful so my fiance put his foot down and told me to cut back. I wasn't going to argue with that.

So with a bit of extra time on my hands next I will be able to catch up on all my interwebs friends lives. Hope everyone is doing well :)

So what else to report..... I now have less than 12 weeks to go til I become a mummy (scary!) time if flying a little to quickly for liking. I feel I am not yet up for the challenge. There has been many a teary conversation at night. I am scared. I am nervous. I am not sure how I will cope with a newborn. Cannot fathom how I will function without sleep. I still don't really know the first thing about babies, despite reading every baby book known to man. Ask me anything about pregnancy, I will be able to give you a perfect answer. Ask me something about babies and I get it right maybe half the time. I feel like I am studying for the HSC and the info is going in one ear and out the other, and the exam is tomorrow.

I feel so extremely lucky my fiance has been so supportive. He keeps assuring me that everything is going to be fine, I will be a great mother, I will know what to do. I am thankful that he think those things and tells me so.

It's really funny you know, in any other situation I am the most laid back person, knowing that everything will work out in the end... my fiance on the other hand thinks the absolute worst of everything, a real glass half empty person. When it comes to becoming parents we are the exact opposite. Although I sometimes think that he believes it going to be a lot easier than what it really is.

Please don't take me the wrong way, I am not depressed, far from it really. I can't wait to meet my child, look in his eyes, have his tiny hand wrapped around one of my fingers, kiss his cheeks, see who he looks like... but I still doubt myself a bit.

Gosh, what a downer of a post. I will have to come back tomorrow and write something a bit more upbeat I think.

Spank me, my bad.

2008-08-06T11:25:00.004+10:00

I have had zero time on my hands to read any of my favourite blogs.

I miss reading you all..................

Between my birthday (thanks for all the bday wishes!), having my mum down from Qld, having a very busy social life this past week or so and work being super busy I haven't had any time to indulge in net surfing time :( Well I lie a bit, I have, but very very limited and I have been satisfying my ebay and online purchasing of clothing cravings. In other words, spending too much money.

I promise I will try to catch up on you all very soon (gotta love google reader!) Call me a slack ass if you too!

Another year older.....

2008-07-30T11:22:00.006+10:00

So my day began at 7am (wtf?) when my Mum decided to call and wake me up to wish me a happy birthday. Thanks Mum. Lucky I had the portable phone next to me and didn't have to get out of my nice toasty bed, its friggin frezzing here and my fiance turned the heater off (again wtf?) it was like 3 degrees this morning. I kindly requested that he turn it the fuck back on, so when I get out of bed in half and hour I don't freeze my tits off.

As I attempted to get ready for work I was bombarded by telephone calls (thanks, but really, why can't you people all wait until I have had a shower?) was running about 25 mins late by the time I left for work, then got to sit in traffic for aaaaaages whilst idiots slowed down for a sticky beak at the accident (minor fender bender) on the freeway.

Good day so far? Not so much. Will it get better? Of course it will!

My mum is flying down from the Gold Coast this afternoon so YAY! I haven't seen her in a few months, so that will be awesome.

My fiance has organised a little family and friends dinner tonight, so that will be lovely.

I hope he remembers the cake. Mmmmmmmmm, black forest cake. My favourite.

Wednesday Morning Funny

2008-07-23T10:15:00.002+10:00

My fiance and I were on the lounge the other night watching telly and an ad for (I cant remember the exact brand) panty liners comes on with a woman who has been out all day and night clubbing and dancing (you know the type!) and says something about keeping your knickers "fresh" for 16 hours while on the go.

He couldn't understand why in 16 hours your knickers wouldn't be fresh?! And proceeded to ask me how many times I / and or women in general change knickers every day??

I looked at him kinda weird and said Oh, you know, depends if you have discharge and how much, thats why you use panty liners...

He looked at me horrified and exclaimed "What....? Do vaginas leak during the day???????"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am bored so.....

2008-07-22T11:44:00.003+10:00

Meme I stole from Expensive Mistakes. Cause I am too lazy to think of something reasonably intelligent to write.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? Rubbish. My car is a total pigsty. It hasn't been cleaned for about 6 months and the white paint has turned a kinda grey color.

2.When was the last time you threw up? Last night. After a bad lunch experience. My stomach is still churning a little.

3. What’s your favorite curse word? Just one....? When it is called for - CUNT. But in general conversation I HATE that word.

4. Name three people who made you smile today. The only people I have seen today are at work and not one of them has made me smile, perhaps clench my teeth, but not smile. A few bloggers have made me smile with their witty posts - do they count?

5. What were you doing at 8am this morning? Getting out of bed. I slept in and came to work late. See question 2 as to why.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Boring answer here - working. What I should still be doing.

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? Still working. Although 4pm will be almost hometime. YAY.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes. For a few hens nights. And only ever watched female strippers at a club. Much better than guy strippers who I have seen at parties. They kinda creep me out.

9. What’s the last thing you said aloud? "For fucks sake..."

10. What is the best ice cream flavour? Mint choc chip.

11. What is the last thing you had to drink? Water.

12. What are you wearing right now? Black pants, singlet and long wollen wrap around cardie. Nothing very interesting. I am at work.

13. What was the last thing you ate? Toast with vegemite.

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No not this week. I am really hating the fact I can't wear my normal clothes and feel like a big fat pregnant whale. You know those people that looooove being pregnant. I am not one of them.

15. When was the last time you ran? Fuck knows? Before I felt like total heffer?

16. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Moto GP last night and the Superbikes on Sunday. I don't really enjoy any other motorsport but LOVE the bikes.

17. Who is the last person you e-mailed? A client.

18. Ever go camping? Ahhh, no. Unless its got a toilet, shower and room service, I am not really into it.

19. Do you have a tan? NO. I am terrified of getting sun cancer, freckles, wrinkles and leathery skin. And spray tans look hideous on me.

20. Do you drink your soda from a straw? Always.

21. Are you someone’s best friend? Of course! I have 2 BFF's.

What are you doing tomorrow? Working and then leaving early for an obstetricians appointment.

23. Where is your mom right now? Well she is my MUM and she lives on the Gold Coast QLD. I would say she would be at work.

24. Look to your left. What do you see? A wall with my calendar. Have just realised it is still on June. Just flicked it over to July.

25. What colour is your watch? I lost my watch 3 weeks after I got it for Christmas. The fiance was NOT HAPPY. So now I dont own one.

26. What comes to mind when you think of Australia? Home.

27. Would you consider plastic surgery? Fuck yeah! After this pregnancy is all over with, I want to get me some bigger boobies. I have gotten used to this size, and although not small before, these puppies look good!

28. What is your birthstone? Ruby. Eww. But its my birthday in 8 days. Yippeeee!

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? Drive thru. Uber lazy. Thanks god most drive thru's have eftpos these days. But on the chance they don't I will actually stop at a teller to get cash out just so I don't have to walk in.

30. How many kids do you want? Let's see how this one goes first and then I'll get back to you.

31. Do you have a dog? I have 3.

32. Last person you talked to on the phone? My Fiance.

33. Have you met anyone famous? Nobody important enough springs to mind.

34. Any plans today? Try and get some work done that I have been putting off for ages.

35. Ever go to college? Only TAFE. And never finished the any of the 3 different course I have taken.

36. Where are you right now? Work.

37. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? Work.

38. Last song listened to? It was on the radio, but I do not remember.

39. Are you allergic to anything? Penicillin

40. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Ugg boots at the moment. It's freezing here!!!

41. Are you jealous of anyone? People who win Powerball.

42. Who is your favorite actor/actress? I don't really have one, but I love most movies with Kate Hudson and Reese Witherspoon... oh and Adam Sandler. I like silly movies. Not big indepth dramas.

43. What time is it? 1.24pm

44. Do any of your friends have children? Only 2 close friends. But a lot of extended friends.

45. Do you eat healthy? Try to. I rarely succeed.

46. What do you usually do during the day? Go to work, come home, go to sleep. At the moment I am too buggered to do anything but the absolutely necessary. I have even cancelled on friends cause I am to tired to go out.

47. How old will you be on your next birthday? 27 next Wednesday.

48. Have you ever been to Europe? Sadly no, Probably one of my biggest regrets.

49. Name one thing you’d still like to do. Matthew McCoughney.

50. Favorite colour? Purple

I won't tag anyone, but if you want to steal it, go for it!!!!

I am in love....

2008-07-17T10:34:00.004+10:00

With my new Apple iphone.

It is my most favourite gadget ever.

I can read my emails anytime anywhere, access facebook (yes, I am one of those freaks who luv FB), I can't get lost cause I have GPS, I always have music with me to kill boredom, I can watch shit on youtube (again to kill boredom) and probably lots more but thats all I have bothered to discover so far.

There is only 1 bad thing I can say about this awesome piece of technology. I no longer can SMS the old way using the numbered keypad.

I now have to SMS on like a computer keyboard :( Very dissapointing. Boo.

Let me tell you, trying to actually type an sms on a touch screen keyboard while trying to drive on the freeway is quite difficult.

Fuck off and don't touch me!!!

2008-07-14T12:43:00.002+10:00

So I was standing in the takeaway shop on friday night (yep, very healthy dinner) and this woman in her 50's walks straight up to me, whacks her hands on my stomach and says "Oh, are you pregnant dear?" Shocked that some stranger is caressing my belly, I just replied "yeah" then she walks out saying, "oh congrats honey"

I am only 20 weeks and really I could have just passed for a bit fat, I dont think I am obviously pregnant. Not to a stranger anyway.

I wish I had of said "No, I'm not pregnant". Would love to have seen her reaction. I will have to say that next time.

Why do perfect strangers think they have the right to touch you?

Who the fuck do these people think they are?

STOP FUCKING MOLESTING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rant over.

Ahhhh.... Civilisation Again!

2008-07-07T13:15:00.013+10:00

Last Thursday (friggin 3.30AM!!) I made the loooooong trek to my dads farm out at Wee Waa NSW. What a bloody long drive that was. Lucky he was driving. I slept most of the way. After stopping for around an hour for breakfast at 7am I think we arrived at around 10.30am and spent the morning in Narrabri (which is the BIG town about 50kms from the farm). He has 2500 acres on two separate blocks and breds cattle and also grows wheat and oats (mainly for feeding cows though). I did have a fantastic time. It was awesome to spend a few days with dad just us two. It's been so many years since I have done that. Anyways, I found myself back in civilisation on Sunday night after an interesting experience at Narrabri airport. There are no metal detectors or security.... the only security measure they have is to ask are you carrying a weapon or explosives. I just said no.

So I thought rather than bore you with a complete itinerary of ALL the highly exciting details of my 4 day holiday, I'd post some pics and show you what fun happens out in the northwest of NSW.

The outback shack. This is "home". It may look like a shed on the outside, but I assure you it looks like a one bedroom apartment inside. Big open plan kitchen and living, fireplace (you bloody need it out there at night!) bathroom (with hot running water!) and separate toilet, plus bedroom. Even the TV reception was fine, which shocked the shit outta me. Oh, and a massive verandah type thing.

The original shower. No hot water there. Apparently in summer dad still uses it. Brrrrrr..... Freezing.

Cows. Plenty of them. It is a cattle farm after all.

A mummy and her baby calf.

Little Piggies caught in a trap. Normally they shoot wild pigs, but seeing as though these ones were only babies, they gave them to some pig farmer on the other side of "town".

The View. This is the view from the ol' homestead out onto one of dads paddocks.

Me with a rifle. Look the fuck out! Actually I managed to shoot 9 out of 10 targets. So I was doing pretty well. I only missed the first shot.

The Target. For my first 3 shots. Missed the first time by a couple of inches, but managed to hit it twice after that. Thats my Daddykins emptying water out of one of the bullet holes.

Me taking pictures of myself. You just gotta do it. Whenever I have a camera in my hands I have to take a shot of myself. I am just vain like that I guess.

Kangaroos. I won't tell you what happens to them out here. You won't like it.

Do you want to know?

2008-06-27T10:39:00.002+10:00

Guess what - we are getting a BOY!

The sonographer is about 90% sure, but she has asked us to get it confirmed at the next scan.

Oh my gosh. I am in a little shock.

Will try a figure out this new fangdangled scanner here and post the pictures.

One More Sleep...

2008-06-26T13:55:00.002+10:00

....and I will know if we are having a little girl or boy.

Fingers crossed that babys legs aren't crossed and the little munchkin gives us a look at the goods.

I AM SO IMPATIENT.

Hurry up tomorrow.

The Puppies and the Pussy

2008-06-20T16:33:00.001+10:00

I thought today might be a nice day to introduce you to my current babies. My pets.

Bobo

Bobo was our first pet together. We got her way back in 2002 when she was only 7 weeks old. This guy my fiance used to work with had a cat which had had kittens and was going to take them to RSPCA. So we rescued her (cause we all know what the RSPCA does with animals that don't get adopted). She was THE most mischievous little bugger ever. We would come home from work and pot plants would be turned over, dirt and much worse all over the carpet, scratches on the back of the front door and any wire or cord in sight would be chewed through. You have no idea how much we spent on buying replacement mobile chargers. Anyway, she grew out of that more or less (not the chewing mobile charges tho... she still does that today) and became quite a good cat. As we lived in a townhouse (and weren't supposed to have a cat) she was pretty much an indoor kitty. She would eat what we ate (loves kettle chilli chips), talk to us, she loves water - I would sometimes find her rolling around on the shower floor after one of us had had a shower... she's very strange.
But everything changed on the day we moved to our current house. Her whole personality changed. She would hide all day, stopped eating and developed a tail and body twitch which resulted in her "chasing" her tail and biting it to the point she had next to no hair left and her tail would bleed. We spent so much time back and forth from the vets trying a multitude of different remedies, splints, cone on head, medications until eventually after nothing worked the vet put her on Prozac (real people prozac - I am not kidding, he had to go to the pharmacy and all). Well, prozac helped her not eat her tail anymore but did not help her personality. She became the nastiest, withdrawn cat. I was the only person she would even let near her.
We ended up having to take her off the drugs and just let her recover on her own and today she is pretty much normal and only occasionally tries to eat her own tail. Her hair has all grown back and she seems to have adjusted well now. She is my pretty princess and my shadow and I absolutely love her to death.

Duke

Duke was our first dog. We got him from the pet store about a month after we moved into our house in 05. My fiance, a gf and I went down to the pet store after hearing they had cattle puppies. There were 2 left- a sleepy, clumsy one with a gorgeous face and a hyperactive one with long legs that seemed to be completely out of proportion with the rest of his body. My fiance wanted the hypo one and my gf and I wanted the sooky one. We won.
He may not have been hypo in the store but my god, was he hypo when we got home. He slept in the garage bathroom at night at first cause he was too little to be out in the cold. Within a week he had eaten his way through a SOLID wooden door. Little turd.
After he chewed his way through about a hundred tennis balls, we bought him this green ball that was rock hard, hoping he wouldnt be able to destroy it (as its was about $30 for the one) We were right, he couldnt destroy it. But this ball became permanently attached to him. He would have the ball with him 24/7. Even after we got the other 2 dogs he would carry his ball everywhere, sleep with it at his nose, place it next to bowl when he ate. He loves to play fetch with it and just does not stop. We timed it once - we kept throwing ball, he kept retrieving for 3 and a half hours straight in summer. He wasn't the one to stop either, we had had enough.
Then one day we were cleaning the garage and Duke kept wanting to play ball and was putting the ball under our feet and being a general pain in the ass so my fiance picked up the ball and placed it on top of all the junk in the big black council bin. Duke could see it, but being the smallest cattle dog in the world could not reach it. Anyway, the next day was bin night and neither of us remembered about the ball and it was gone forever. We didnt realise until a few days later after Duke had spent them crying and whining what we had done. We felt awful. We tried buying a replacement from pet barn but they only had a yellow one. We tried it, but it didnt work (I thought dogs were meant to be color blind?) he would just watch it roll away down the driveway. A few weeks later we managed to get a hold of a blue ball of the same brand and that seemed to do the trick. We still have the yellow one and he still won't go near it.

Lola

Ok, so Lola is the smart one. She came to live with us about when Duke was about 9 months old. She was already 18 months old and we got her from the animal adoption agency. Highly recommended by the way if you are looking for a pet. She was trained prior to coming to live with us and is highly intelligent. She has a beautiful nature, she listens and obeys and you can actually walk her rather than have her walk you. She has one fault. Actually two if you count the fact that she eats poo. But the major thing being she barks and bark and barks. But not when my fiance is home....ohhhh nooooooo... its occurs about 30 seconds after he has left for work every morning at 7.15am. She knows that she would get in trouble if he was home, hence waits until he leaves. Then I have to drag my ass out of bed to go crook at her, waking myself up in the meantime. I would hate to know what she is like when neither of us are at home.

Ralph

What can I say about poor old Ralph.... he is far from the sharpest crayon in the box. He came from the animal adoption agency as well. We got him last year when he was almost 12 months old. Now, I am not being mean when I say he is semi-retarded (and I am in no way wanting to offend anyone who is retarded) but he is a dead set dope. He has absolutely no common sense. He stands in front of moving cars for christ sake!
We didn't name him (same with Lola) we kept their names they had already. But Ralph suits him to a tee. You know Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons? Well our Ralph makes Wiggum look like a candidate for the Nobel Prize. No, but seriously, they could be twins.
Need an example? Ok, when you want Ralph to come to you, calling out "Ralph!" doesnt quite cut it. He just walks away. We have to literally half bend over, slap our hands against our thighs and call out in one of those awful babying kind of voices "Ral-peeee, Ral-peeee, come on! Come here, Ral-peeeeee" You have to wait for him to realize that you're saying his name (well kind of). But he is really really sweet and gentle. And if you can keep a secret..... he is my favourite of the dogs. Shhhhhh. I feel mean having favourites...

Have a great weekend! TGIF!

Drugs are bad....part two. The update.

2008-06-19T09:14:00.006+10:00

So a while ago I wrote a post about the struggles my cousin (Tilly) was going through fighting an ice addiction. You can read it here.

I have not had a great deal of contact with her over the past 6 months, the occassional call or sms maybe. I guess she had a lot on her plate what with going to counselling and getting her life together and I have had my hands full with day to day life as well.

I saw Tilly for the first time since Christmas time over the weekend. My cousin Courtney had a bit of a get together on Saturday night for all my cousins to catch up and Tilly flew down from QLD for it.

Firstly it was great to see her, she looked healthy, happy and bubbly like she used to. She had completed the program she was in, she was working part time, she had made a few friends through work and was able to have a bit of a life. She also announced that she was coming back to Sydney to live at her dads house in a few weeks. I am really proud of the recovery she has made so far and hope that she continues on this path.

There are a couple of things that worry me about her moving back though. She will be living at her dads, which is kinda a good thing, but her dad is prety much an alcoholic. He spends half his life at the pub. Not the best person to be keeping an eye on her. But on the same hand, he is her dad and should be there for her. Perhaps he has cleaned himself up a bit? Lets hope so.

She told me on her way from the airport to my cousins house she drove past her exes house. Which is not exactly on the way, she must have made a bit of a detour. I mean, I know she didnt drop by to say hi, he has moved on and is in another relationship now and things between Tilly and the ex are not exactly on speaking terms as there is a court case pending (not going to get into that one - but it certainly wouldn't be a civil converstion between the two). But I ask myself - why would she drive past? To me, it sounds like she perhaps isn't quite over him or the life they had together and perhaps living back in Sydney could escalate that situation. Hmmm... maybe, I don't know. It seems a little strange to me.

The last thing that worries me, is she seems so co-dependent. I only saw her for a few hours, but she has definately changed. She is clingy to the point she has to be holding everyones hand or arm when she speaks to them, speaking really close (I hate close speakers) and follows everyone around like a child. The way she speaks about coming back to live in Sydney is a bit funny too. She seems to think that all our friends are going to be dropping everything to help her and keep her occupied (ok, that was a little harsh, but you get what I mean). She needs to realise that we all have our own partners, jobs, families etc. Not that I don't want to keep an eye out on her, but I have a lot going in my own life and I can't be there for her every second.

I don't want to sound like a bitch, but she has gotten through the hardest part with the support of her family and this is the part that she has to pull herself through. Nobody can do this part for her. She is going to be back at home with all the old temptations. She is going to be close by to the ex and all of their friends who were part of that world and she needs to have the will power to avoid them. I hope that she does because someone cannot be her babysitter every minute of every day.

Hopefully, all this worry will be for nothing.

Tagged. Thanks Steve.

2008-06-13T11:10:00.005+10:00

So I have been tagged by the devastatingly handsome Memphis Steve.

The rules of the game get posted at the beginning of the post. Each player answers the questions about themselves in their post. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

1. What were you doing ten years ago?
Being a pretty naughty teenager. Underage drinking, wagging school, pre-marital sex (haha - still doing that!) going to parties every weekend, hanging out at the shops on a thursday night, walking or catching a bus everywhere, getting grounded, playing sega megadrive (mainly Sonic the Hedgehog and Mortal Kombat) and then the very first sony playstation (remember when they first came out, they were like $800?) smoking at the back of the oval at school, getting my first mobile phone and then having it confiscated by my parents when the $400 bills roll in, illegally driving my friends older sisters car through the park at the bottom of my street etc etc. Fun times. See my post from yesterday.

2. What are five things on your list to do today?
* Do this meme.
* Try and catch up on some work that I have been putting off. I just have no motivation lately.
* Get my nails done.
* Find a recipe for some different types of gourmet mini pizzas. I am catching up with about 10 of my cousins tomorrow night and we all need to bring a plate. I was considering just going to the frozen food isle, but thought I might make a bit of an effort.
* Feed my cat. I forgot last night. I feel really bad actually.

3. Snacks you enjoy?
I am not really a snacky kind of a gal. I prefer my 3 meals a day. But I do have a weakness for fresh choc chip muffins and cheese and bacon rolls. Oh - and this is not so much a snack, more of a dessert - I LOVE ice cream with Milo.

4. Things You Would Do If You Were A Billionaire?
Travel, travel, travel. First class baby.
I would also make sure my family were taken care of.
But after those two..... I would be flashing cash all over the place. I would be decked top to toe in designer, jewellery, some hot ass car that would have every man creaming his pants, basically absolutely anything i wanted.
And if I was a billionaire, I have a little confession..... i would probably buy myself a little tiara or crown to prance around at home in. Just cause I could.

5. Three of your bad habits?
* Swearing. Not really so much in writing, but the profanity that spills from mouth on a daily basis is disgusting. I am going to have to gag myself when my baby starts to learn to talk.
* Road rage. I find this has gotten worse lately and I can't tell if it because the traffic is worse or my tolerance threshold has lowered. Maybe both.
* Being lazy.

6. Five places you have lived?
* Western Sydney house 1. This was the house I was brought home from the hospital to after being born. Big 4 bedroom place.
* NSW central coast. When I was about 7 or 8 my dad did some property developing in Toukley. So we lived there for a while at Canton Beach. Not so much a beach, rather a lake. But nice all the same. I havent been there in at least 10 years.
* Western Sydney house 2. This was the teeny tiny villa that I lived in with my mum and my sister after my parents split up. I was in year 6 so that made me about 12. We lived there about 12 months.
*Western Sydney house 5. (2 skipped) This was where me and my fiance first lived together. We rented a 3 bedroom townhouse a hundred metres down the road from the local RSL. Crappy townhouse but for some reason I miss it sometimes. We lived here for 5 years.
* Western Sydney house 6. This is the one that my fiance and I bought in 2005. It is actually Western Sydney house 1. We bought it off my Dad when he decided to move to the bush. Love this house so much. Everything has changed inside, but somehow it is still the same.....

7. Five jobs you’ve had?
* Worked in a servo (gas station for you yanks playing at home)
* Worked in a real estate agency (loved that company)
* Worked in recruitment (could honestly think of nothing worse. Hated it)
* Worked for an internet ISP (again BORING - except the marketing dept. We rocked)
* Worked where I work now. Back in Property industry. LOVE IT.

8. How did you name your blog?
To be honest I couldnt think of anything and I still dont like it, but am too lazy to try and think of something cool. Any suggestions would be welcome.

Five tagged bloggers:
Andy
Jenn
Spew-it-all
Princesse Ecossaise
Leah

Back in the Day

2008-06-12T09:57:00.003+10:00

My girlfriends and were out for dinner last weekend and after a few bottles of wine (NO - not me, I am s-o-b-e-r) the subject came up of old fads and what we thought made us cool back in the day.

United Colors of Benetton Bum Bags. All my gf's had these when we were in year 10 ('97) We would be walking around the shopping centre socialising every Thursday late night shopping with our bum bags hanging off our shoulder (not around our waists - we were cool dammit) It was just big enough to carry all our essential, wallets, mobile phones, ciggies and lighters. We were "the shit" back then.

Hound Dog. Now this store was opened back in about '93. I was in Year 6. It stayed cool (in my hometown anyway) til about '95. During this time I had graduated from my hound dog purple leggings with white hound dog logo oversized t-shirt to the more racy hound dog clothing of the tinieset mini micro dresses and a zip up skin tight see-thru skirt dubbed the "unzip me and fuck me" skirt. I have no-idea how I managed to get my parents to let me out the house wearing some of those outfits, to call them tarty would be the understatement of the century.

Keppers. Again, these were in the in thing from around '92/'93 for maybe a 2 years or so. When I wasn't slutting it up in my barely there dresses you would find me in my dark blue baggy as hell keppers. Insert sad story here. Easter Sunday of 1994. My family was celebrating at my cousins house. As kids do, we wanted to be no-where near the adults, so were out the front yard. My cuz Hayley and I were both in love with dancing ( I, having done ballet since I was 3 and jazz and tap since I was 6) decided we would choreograph our own routine. Just to set the scene the song was "Give it up" by KC and the Sunshine Band after a not-so-particularly hard move my leg buckled underneath me and I was laying on the road screaming my tits off. To be honest, I dont really remember a lot about what happened but an ambulance was called and it ends up that I had dislocated my knee. What was I wearing? Keppers. Which to pop my knee back in they had to cut off me. Well after hearing that, I dont know whether my tears were for the pain or the sad demise of my kepper pants. Now this part is really embarrassing - after coming home from hospital (with my cut up keppers) I carefully cut out one of the back pockets and to this day I have kept it in a box with some other sentimental stuff.

The Skatel. Every friday night from about '93 to '95 we would be dropped off at the local skatel for a night of skating, flirting, kissing, smoking, drinking and towards the end getting stoned. This was our first real night time social thing (other than the few occasional parties - which at that age were still pretty lame). The skatel was the place I had my first kiss with a boy called Aaron. He was so hot. We were hanging out outside the rink and skated up the back of the carpark behind the rink and just looked into each others eyes and went for it. It was so cute. Until my cuz and co starting giggling from around the corner where they were spying on us.

Jeremy Jordan. O.M.G. ('93-'94) He was just the hottest thing I thought I had ever seen. I had posters all over my walls and his CD on repeat in my bedroom. I want a girl like you.....

No-Doz. '97-'98. These lovely little tablets were the greatest thing going round when we first started drinking pretty heavily at parties. It was fantastic, you could pop a few of those and drink all night without passing out on the grass by 9.30pm. But we used to basically get into bitchfits about who was going into the 7/11 to buy them as we thought that they would refuse to sell them to us, lock us up and call the coppers. How wrong we were. We also used to take one of my friends little sisters ADD pills. They worked a treat too.

PassionPop, Strongbows and West Coast Coolers. '96 - '98. Need I say more really? Cheapest nastiest stuff in the Bottle-O. But always got us hammered. Oh yeah, and tequilla (stolen from out parents bars.)

Parties. A hundred times better than going to the club. Until the cops broke them up. But big or small ones we always managed to get absolutely blind with good mates and no strangers (well except the ones that tried to crash the partay). I will have to tell you about the open house party (corey style) I had at my mums house in 1995 another time. Its a looooong story.

Having an ummmm... party friend. '96-'99. I had a couple over the years. It was basically just a guy friend you hooked up with a parties. My first one was a boy called Noel. He had the most ripped body a 16/17 year old could ever have and cheeks you just wanted to squish together and tell him how goddamn cute he was. Ooohhh...and the deepest most beautiful dimples. I am a sucker for a man with dimples. Anyways every party we would end up in a bathroom or loo or someones little bro's bedroom having the best make-out sessions ever. I never fucked him at any of these parties but it got pretty hot and heavy all the same. But a while later probably just after I left school we ran into each other at a party or something and ended up back at his place and had a pretty wild night which we did pretty much did everything we never got to before. It was a great time had by all.

Honestly I would have to say the best time of my life so far were the years between '94 and '99. It was all getting trashed at parties, wagging school, no responsibilites and fun times. After I turned 18 it was still awesome going to nightclubs and being legally allowed to do these things, but you had the added element of a job and financial responsibilites (like a mobile phone bill!).

If I could turn back time to 1994 and live my high school years again, would I? Hell yeah! I would do it over and over and over again.

Wanna Join My Pity Party?

2008-06-06T09:56:00.003+10:00

Well it has officially hit home, that I am pregnant. And the reality that has hit is not of the good variety.

Before I go any further, to set the record straight - I am so excited to be having a baby and to be a Mummy and all that jazz but this post is purely for me to whinge about the crappy stuff that goes with being pregnant.

My jeans dont fit me anymore. Now call me shallow, I can get over the fact that some of my work pants are tight around the belly, but NOT MY JEANS. I live in my jeans. Well I used to anyway. Boo.

My boobs have increased by 2 sizes now. Which is lovely to look at, but the cleavage is like fused together which is causing tiny pimples in between the girls. I guess I am lucky I havent broken out all over my face and body. I knew a girl who had perfect skin and as soon as she got pregant she got really bad acne. Which never really quite seemed to go away after the birth. Also, the rapid boobie growth has given me the lovely little souvenir of stretch marks. Eww. Plus they itch like crazy.

I literally cannot keep my eyes open past 8.30pm which has caused my house to becomes utter chaos. I have about 3 weeks worth of laundry to do, the kitchen is filthy, bathroom floor is littered with towels and dirty clothes, ironing is pilled high, floors need sweeping, mail is piled up, cat litter need to be changed, carpets are in desperate need of a vacuum, and to top it off I have lost a diamond earring in this brothel of a house. Oh yeah, and my foxtel IQ box is so full, I have actually had to start erasing things that I havent watched yet just so I can keep recording on it. So you can guess what my long weekend is going to consist of. And its not going to be sitting on my fat ass catching up on TV thats for sure. Well, maybe a little bit...

I am disgusted at what a sook I have been lately. I cry at everything. See everything above - I cried - at my jeans, my boobs and the mess. I was sobbing watching a re-run of Law & Order, I was a mess watching Outrageous Fortune last week. I cry when someone says something to me that I dont like or more often take the wrong way. I follow my fiance around the house, everytime we are talking and he gets up to go to the kitchen etc, I follow him, he called me on it last night and like the friggin weeping wuss I am, I burst into tears accusing him of not wanting to be around me. Huh? For fucks sake. Snap outta it!

I have noticed that some relatives (one in particular) thinks I have nothing else going on in my life except the fact that I am having a baby. It's the only thing they talk to me about. Should I name & shame? Hmmm, ok, its the Mother in law. I love her to death, but seriously, lay off it ok? She is even hounding her son. I get it that this is the first grandchild (it is on my side too!) but I am capable of other conversation. I mean seriously, I am only 4 months and I have heard all her birth and preg experiences at least 6 times.

I am a nasty bitch. Especially at work. I snap at my bosses and clients. I will leave that one there, because to be honest, I dont want to get into it. I am just lucky that they know I am pregnant and therefore are ignoring my violent mood swings.

I have zero interest in work and am getting a little behind. I just have no motivation at the moment. I hope this passes soon, before someone notices.

Onto something better, I CANT WAIT TIL SUNDAY! My girlfriends and I have tix to see Sex & The City! Gold class... We are all class baby! Although I might have to skip the cocktails afterwards.

Hope everyone has a fantastic long weekend!

Ass or Arse?

2008-06-04T10:26:00.003+10:00

So my fiance and I had a bit of a heated discussion the other day. Topic - Spelling. Now, he doesn't usually argue with me on this topic, because he is a shocking speller and seriously, I don't know how he ever passed english at school.

Anyway, back to the story. So we were sending some sms's back and forth (yes, THOSE kind of sms) and I was texting Ass and he was texting Arse. Got home later that night, and instead of getting to business with what we had arranged via sms to do, we ended up discussing the issue of Ass vs Arse? Now we are both very stubborn arguers especially when we think we are right, so you can imagine that were not seeing eye to eye on this one.

After further reflection on the issue, maybe both are right? (Don't ask me to admit it to him though!)

So what do you think? Ass or Arse? Which would you use?

*This is not mine, although I wish it were.

Seriously Strange

2008-05-30T10:07:00.005+10:00

I have been having THE most tripped out dreams lately.

Last nights included me getting suited up in racing car driving attire - full body jumpsuit, boots, gloves etc, in 40deg heat, to go rally car driving in the desert with complete strangers. All because I needed a lift to the other side of town?!?! What towns are in the desert?

Later in dreamland (perhaps on the other side of town) I was wedding dress shopping with my bestie. So many beautiful white dresses.... what did I buy I hear you say? A royal blue, velvet corset dress with the biggest hoop and petticoat you have ever seen in your life. Very Scarlett O'Hara Gone with the Wind style. Not to bag poor Scarlett, It is after all my most favouritest movie of all time. But not what I had imagined my wedding dress to look like!

I love it when I can remember dreams. Most times I wake up and remember bits and pieces but after an hour or so have completely forgotten.

Wanna See???

2008-05-14T14:34:00.003+10:00

I had my first ultrasound this morning and it went FANTASTIC! Bubba was moving and jumping around, we heard the heartbeat and it was awesome!!!!!!

Ist pic is baby profile.

This one is the 3D image. Not that great a picture as its still a little early for the 3D images.

Dr said everything looked perfect!! She couldnt tell the sex yet, have to wait until my next one.

I feel incredible. It's all so real now, I was in tears!

A new beginning

2008-05-13T11:29:00.003+10:00

Tomorrow morning I have my first ultrasound. It is going to make it all seem real. It will be the first day I will truly be able to comprehend that there is someone growing inside me. Because I will have the proof.

I feel so excited that I am going to see this baby inside me for the first time, see its little body, head, legs, feet and hands. Maybe even see if it is a little baby girl or boy. I am pretty sure I will fall in love on the spot.

But on the otherhand, I feel so scared about what I am going to see. What ifs keep going through my head. What if there is a problem or defect? What if there no heartbeat?

I don't think I have ever had mixed feeling like this before in my life. All I want is to be told that the baby is absolutely perfect in every way.

Fingers, legs, toes, arms & eyes crossed for good news!

Tosser

2008-05-07T14:37:00.003+10:00

Just a quick one.

So my boss says to me today, "In a couple of months I'll be able to call you Humphrey!" (as in Humphrey B Bear) Um..... NO THE FUCK YOU WONT.

I was a bit taken aback. So just said "You'll be a brave man if you do"

Who the FUCK says that to a pregnant woman? If that was my man I would slap him sideways into sunday!

Fucking tool.

You gotta get it all the way in, I wanna see you work

2008-05-07T11:15:00.004+10:00

I have been hearing this song everywhere lately and love it. I can be found in my car on the freeway bopping around to it, at my desk at work and even at home dancing around like fool with the broom.

However I had my suspicions on what the lyrics were all about - cause she sings pretty fast, so downloaded and pretty my confirmed what I thought.

It funny, they bleep the word ASS and BITCH on the radio but man, this song is pretty much blatantly clear about what it is on about......

Have a read and tell me what you think

Kelly Rowland - Work

This ain't go be easy

UhYou got it, you got it
Put it in

[Verse 1]
Tables turned into a situation
Now you standing in my face and you been patiently waiting
Fumbling over words, forget the conversation
Thinking maybe we could make the combination
Wanna see me lose my breathe, wanna hear me moan
Better be ready, will and able when we get along
You was talking tough up on in the telephone
So you better put it in when we get it on

No turning back from this party
Put you through enough to come play (hey)
And ain't no coming down from this high
My love don't go nowhere less I say

Look at what you got yourself into
Best take advantage, be all that you can be
Best take advantage, see all that you can see
Cause this could be a less opportunity that won't be

[Chorus]
Put it in
Check it baby, get it baby, check it baby, get it (work)
Do it baby, do-do it baby get it (put it in)
Check it baby, get it baby, check it baby, get it (work)
Do it baby, do-do it baby get it (go hard)
Check it baby, get it baby, check it baby, get it (work)
Do it baby, do-do it baby get it
Don't come around, keep on lettin me down
You gotta get it all the way in, I wanna see you work

[Verse 2]
Now you looking like you looking for an explanation
Is the curves on my body for you motivation
Skip the petty needs, No time for complication
Use both hands to make sure I reach my destination
Better leave a good impression fore you hit the door
Cause you don't want me talking bout your business on the low
You show it off, I had to fit you in my schedule
So you better put it on me when it's time to go

No turning back from this party
Put you through enough to come play (hey)
And ain't no coming down from this high
My love don't go nowhere less I say

Look at what you got yourself into
Best take advantage, be all that you can be
Best take advantage, see all that you can see
Cause this could be a less opportunity that won't be

[Chorus]
Put it in
Check it baby, get it baby, check it baby, get it (work)
Do it baby, do-do it baby get it (put it in)
Check it baby, get it baby, check it baby, get it (work)
Do it baby, do-do it baby get it (go hard)
Check it baby, get it baby, check it baby, get it (work)
Do it baby, do-do it baby get it
Don't come around, keep on lettin me down
You gotta get it all the way in, I wanna see you work

[Bridge]
I ain't excepting no excuses baby (no)
Don't brag about it if you useless baby (no)
You better blow me away, make a girl wanna stay
At your spot for another round
It's your chance to prove, Don't forget your moves
There's nothing to lose, but me

[Chorus (x2)]

I don't have a great deal to say this morning....

2008-05-05T09:16:00.002+10:00

except,

I MISS MY NAILS!

I have had fake nails for about a hundred years....Silly me over the weekend, went to the nail salon, got the little nail lady to take off my fakies (wtf was I thinking???) and file them short and paint them black (how very emo of me).

I was enjoying having short nails over the weekend. However, I get into work this morning and am TRYING to type. I cant. How strange that my nails or lack of long nails are affecting my typing. I all over the place. Backspace hasnt had a workout like this for a while.

I want the clickety click sound on my keyboard back!!!!!!!!! You know where I am going on my lunch hour!!!!!!

Bigger is Better

2008-04-23T10:39:00.002+10:00

Being pregnant is pretty hard work, I tells you.

You wake up 15 times a night to use the loo, smells of food you normally looooove make you wanna gag, worse still is when you try to eat said foods you end up almost wearing them if the toilet bowl is more than 10 paces away. Not to mention the constant bloated feeling, pants feeling a bit tighter around the middle. You try to watch your favourite shows and are dead to the world within ten minutes of getting comfy on the lounge. You cant get motivated to do anything other than lie around and feel like crap.

But there is 1 good side effect. THE BEST rack ever. Pregnancy does wonders for the cleavage, let me tell you. My man is in awe of my ever increasing chest size. Now, without sounding too up myself, I had a pretty good rack before. About a small D. Well now, I have a perfect set of double D's and they are perky and full and I cant even help but to admire them.

Being up the duff definately has some BIG perks.

Dinners on the table

2008-04-16T16:10:00.004+10:00

You know those nights when you're starving and there is hardly anything in cupboard/fridge to make for dinner and you're also feeling to god damn lazy to even get take-away? And you end up trying to slap something together thats usually either very strange or pretty much not even worthy enough to give to the dog? Well that didnt happen last night. Actually the first part did but it was SO YUMMY!

So I looking in the freezer last night for something to make for dinner- paddlepops, paddlepops and tub of ice-cream - oooohhh, I think I spot something back there.... frozen meatballs. Ok, what can I do with them? I'll tell you what I can do. Meatballs, cheese, tomato sauce toasted sandwiches. So fucking tasty! I highly recommend. But do remember, you need to put extra tomato sauce inside cause the heat makes half of it evaporate(?). That part didnt affect me to much as I drown everything I eat in sauce, unlike my other half who uses sauce very sparingly.

I liked them so much that I am actually planning on having them again sometime soon. What slack meals have you come up with and did they end up becoming favs?

Meme Time

2008-04-16T11:37:00.002+10:00

Well I have now officially been tagged to do a meme. The blogosphere's version of those annoying emails that you must send to 10 people in 10 minutes or some big ass rock is going to fall from the sky and knock you the f#$% out at 8.52pm tonight.

But, I will join in the fun. Thanks Jenn!

Ok, heres the rules

1) Write your own six word memoir;
2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like;
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere;
4) Tag at least five more blogs with links; and
5) Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Here we go, very much related to whats going on in my life currently.

Mother? Me? You gotta be kidding?

I'm tagging spew-it-all, steph, leah, memphis steve, missk

Honestly, I dont care if you do it or not.

Have fun!

Hi Blog..... Remember Me?

2008-04-10T11:49:00.002+10:00

Well, its been a case of long time no see.... have had so much happening lately that have barely had time to scratch my arse, or to do any other equally enjoyable pasttime!

So our bathroom renovation started on Monday and are going really well. I am so excited to have it finished (end of next week) so I can stop showering in the garage shower and walking up the backyard in the rain with my smelly dogs jumping on me in the middle of the night to use the loo!

But the main reason I havent had the time nor energy to blog is.......... I'm pregnant!

Found out on Easter Monday and am now almost 8 weeks and have to say it - sick as a dog. Morning sickness turns out to be morning, noon and night. It sucks and I dont wish it upon anyone (the sickness part).

So at the moment have basically been working and sleeping and to be honest, not much working really. Cant really concentrate, am soooooo tired and crook. I actaully feel sort of asleep on the loo yesterday! Not sure exactly how long I was in there for...... Work doesnt know yet, so am trying not to fall asleep at my desk and trying to look kinda busy.

Will check in again soon as I am off for another looooooong loo trip!

Holidays - FAAAAARRRRKKKK YEAH!!

2008-03-13T12:49:00.002+11:00

I am sitting at my desk this morning BURIED in work.

Why is it, that as soon as you are going on annual leave, some sneaky fuck must send a bulk email around to your whole office and ALL your clients to say, " Call / Email Bonnie this morning with your queries, problems, gripes and fucking nonsense bullshit, because she wont be here tomorrow".

I have had every pest in Sydney call me today and want to know something, or want me to do something for them. FUCK OFF, I HAVE ENOUGH TO DO.

I have now switched my office line phone to Do Not Disturb and am currently cowering in the corner of my office, hoping no-one sees me, whilst trying to finish off the stuff that actually does matter.

I will feel sooooo much better at 4.30pm, if somethings not done, not my problem anymore! Woo hoo!!!!!!!

Fuck off work and I'll catch up with you after Easter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still Hungover

2008-03-10T14:05:00.003+11:00

Its Monday night and I am still feeling the effects of Saturday night. Or Sunday morning, whichever way you choose to look at it.

My girl Lee just got back from Canada after spending 10 months living it up o/s, so we celebrated her return to Oz in true bogan style. At the pub.

Had a fantastic night and my god, those jagermeister shots? Fucking lethal.

Most memorable conversation was at about 3.30am..... re: threesomes. All 4 of us agreed that we would have one if it were 2 girls 1 bloke. Mind you, one of us at the table WAS a bloke. So his answer wasn't all that suprising.

So got me thinking about the 3 in the bed issue again. I havent ever done it. But have wanted to for a while, and I am not sure exactly what is holding me back. I am not a jealous person so I'm pretty sure seeing my boy with another chick is not going to be a big problem. Maybe its how I am going to feel about it after? Or how the boy is going to feel? Its the not knowing how we are feel that I think I am bothered by.

Should it be someone I know or someone I dont? My personal opinion is that I do NOT want to know the person. But on the same hand I don't want to have sex with some random female I know nothing about.

Anyone done it and want to share?

Coming out of the closet

2008-03-06T14:33:00.005+11:00

I'm out!

Well my face is now anyways.

I thought about it and I dont really need to be soooo anonymous. Yay, I feel like me now!

I still havent really told many ppl I blog, and the ones I have told I dont think they're overly interested. In other words they aren't internet dorks like me! They actually have lives apparently, or so they tell me anyway.

So now I feel comfortable being myself there will be more photos up on here for you peeps to check out (later - one thing at a time!)

Bye!

I almost orgasmed...

2008-03-04T15:45:00.008+11:00

When I found my taps for my new bathroom! I love love love love love them!

Not shown is the bath spout and shower head. I couldnt freakin be happier!!

Now just have to chose all the accessories and I am DONE! Then comes the hard part - living in a construction site for 10 days. That part'll be fun.

Head Spinning

2008-03-03T15:59:00.002+11:00

I am so friggin confused right now.

We are about to start renovating our bathroom at home and it is the first BIG reno that we have done. I thought it would be pretty easy. I know what I like and we are lucky enough to be able to afford to spend a bit on it. So far we've got tiles, vanity, cupboard and mirror - all of which were picked within 10 mins of walking into store. But I cannot for the life of me decide on taps. I have a mountain of brochures, have trawled thru every website I can find and so far pretty much have found sweet fuck all. And the ones that I do actually like have some kind of problem like - there is not a matching vanity mixer tap (cause the bloody vanity has to have a mixer- something I should have thought of before ordering it!) or the shower head isn't right.

Thank god my contractor is patient with me. He's been to our house 4 times because I keep changing the layout and I was supposed to have finished ordering everything last week to make sure everything comes in so they can start work first week of April. Whoops. Still have to find taps, bath, drains, towel rails, toilet, downlights, and all those little bit and pieces like soap dishes.

Help me Jebus before my Man & my plumber kill me! Or I go insane. Whichever comes first.

WTF?

2008-02-29T16:49:00.004+11:00

I'm sorry, but seriously Mimi..... WTF were you thinking when you put those shoes on??? That you are a Spice Girl circa 1997??

I really cant understand some of these celebrities. All the money and stylists in the world and they still manage to leave the house looking fucking stoopid.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Got Coffee?

2008-02-26T16:51:00.002+11:00

I have neither the time nor the energy to be blogging today.

Work & home are both super busy right now, and I am so tired I am about ready to fall asleep on the keyboard.

And it looks like it is going to absolutely piss down rain here any minute and I have a 45 min drive ahead of me (and thats if there is little to no traffic) I dont think I am going to be very lucky.

Thunderstorms GET LOST!!!!!!!!!!! AND DONT HAIL ON ME!

Drugs are bad....Mmmkay..... (its a long one)

2008-02-21T15:28:00.007+11:00

So I got a bit of bad new this afternoon.

You see, my cousin and her boyf have an ice addiction. She has been doing this for quite a while, probably about 18months to 2 years. I don't know exactly how long or how it all started, who's idea it was, who's connection they got it from. But to be completely honest I have known that they do this for a pretty long time. Probably about 12 or so months. I have bugged and pestered her to stop for as long as I can remember. It was blatantly obvious to me that she was doing it. I could see it in her eyes. They had that empty, glassy look. When making my little "drugs are bad" speeches I could see that the words were having little to no effect. On the same hand though, I NEVER thought it had gotten as bad as what it had. Cuz still went to work everyday, came out partying, met the girls for lunches, functioned well in normal society. She never stole to support her habit. She had a good job, he had his own business which was always doing well.

There was less than a handful of people who actually knew about the drugs at all. She kept it pretty well hidden and no-one suspected anything. Her sister and I knew. And both of us had the same reasoning. It wasnt affecting her day to day life. She still was doing all the things that a responsible adult should do, and yeah, she smoked a bit of ice. What harm? A lot apparently.

She was first taken to hospital late last year (maybe oct/nov - I'm a bit vague on dates) after flipping out on the side of the road in Newcastle. She was kept in the psychiatric ward for a few weeks and then discharged to her mothers care(who lives in qld). She stayed up there for a month or so before coming back to Sydney. Right back to her long term boyfriends home. Why? I dont know. I cant think that my aunt would have loved this idea. But Cuz does what Cuz wants.

Everything seemed to be going good for her. I saw her at Christmas time and she had put on a lot of weight and was looking healthy. She seemed to be in really good spirits. I have not actaully seen here since. I have spoken to her and texted her. But I had no idea she was downward spiralling again.

I got a phone call today from Cuz to say she was back in QLD at her mums house. Apparently 3 weeks ago she had another breakdown and the police picked her up wandering the streets at all hours of the morning barefoot in pyjamas. They took her to a hospital and again she was committed to the psychiatric unit for a 2 week or so stay.

This time it looks like things may be a bit different. She has broken up with the boyf, her mother went and cleared all her stuff from their home. She says that she will be staying in qld with her mum for at least 6 months. She has changed her phone number and cut ties with friends in common with the boyf. She is taking medication and going to counselling and at least her mum is there to make sure those things happen. I sure hope so.

I feel a little guilty that I didnt try to do more earlier on, maybe talk to her more about stopping or tell her parents. Maybe it could have been avoided. But thats a big maybe. As much as I know about people with addictions all the talking in the world cant make them stop if they dont want to. And she obviously didnt want to. There also seems to be a lot of blame being tossed around directed at her boyf. As much as he is not a good influence on Cuz, it's not his fault. He didnt hold her down and make her do it. Cuz would have to be the most headstrong person I know. If she didn't want to do something you couldnt make her if you tried.

Cuz is one of my best friends, she is hilarious, honest, bubbly, spontaneous, a real bundle of laughs and fun, and I hope and pray that she will become the same person again. She is only 23 years old.

The really scary part is how quickly drugs can take over your whole life and turn it upside down. You may think that you have everything under control but then whoosh... it bites you on the ass HARD.

I am no anti-drugs nazi. I have taken my fair share in my lifetime. On occasion I still do, if the mood takes me although its pretty rare these days. I am not as big a party animal as I used to be. But it has made me think twice about what I will and will not take.

Take care Cuz and all my love and good wishes to you.

xoxox

Yay!

2008-02-20T13:22:00.002+11:00

I am so so so ecstatic today!

I finally got my full gold licence. I am soooooo clever! *applauds herself*

Anyone who lives in NSW knows that in the last few years there have been a LOT of changes to the licensing system and that you have to stay on your provisional drivers license for at least 3 years until you can get a full licence.

I could have avoided this lengthy system if I had of bothered to get my learners licence before I was 22. But hey, you live, you learn.

So I woke up this morning, extra early, to make sure my hair, makeup etc was looking super hot because I will have this licence for the next 5 years. If I say so myself, I was looking pretty good when I left for the RTA.

So I did the test, fixed up my makeup and hair before calling the teller that I was ready for photo. I sit on the little blue chair staring straight ahead at the lens with a hint of a smile, sparkle in the eye and he counts down "Ok, 3...2...1..." Thinking he's taken the pic a second after the "1" my face must have resorted back to that pissed off look cause I realise I have to sit here for another 15 mins and wait for it to print. Whatever, I get my license and yep, wattayaknow, AngryFace.

Arrggghhhh, I have to live with this shit shot for the next 5 years now............... maybe I will accidentally lose it somewhere....

Blogging?

2008-02-19T14:15:00.006+11:00

I am new at this whole bloggy thing and have a few issues that I feel the need to ponder.

Firstly, I dont know what kind of blog mine is, there are some blogs that I read in which authors are pretty specific about the general theme, for example mummy blogs, current affairs, relationship etc etc. I dont think mine will ever have a theme as such. So far it just seems to be random bits of info and a whole lotta bitchin.

Secondly, do you tell the people that are a) in your family b) are your friends/workmates c) your partner that you blog? I am still trying to work that one out. You see, if you know that a particular person above reads your blog, does that mean you need to potray them in a good light? Or not bitch about them? Or what if said person goes and tells someone else something that you have written? Now I am not naive enough to think that my friends or family think I am gods gift to this nation and that they would never say a bad word about me amongst themselves, but I dont know if I would care to read a post from a g/f have a good old slag a thon about me. I dont want anyone to be hurt by anything that I say, but at the same time a blog gives you the freedom and anonymity to completely blunt, honest and truthful. Now I am not some kind of gossip queen that talks behind all her mates backs, but IRL I obviously say what I need to say with a bit of tact and I can be mindful of ppls feelings. Hmmmm.

How often should I post? I guess that will vary a lot between bloggers. Some I read are updated daily, some a couple of times a week and some when the authors think about it I guess. So far for me it has been almost daily, but its new at the moment so that may change.

If I am to continue posting daily or almost daily, should it be more of a diary or record of what is going on in my life? Do people really want to know what night I am washing my hair and what I had for breakfast? I think not. But maybe more along the lines of what I feeling emotionally and important events. So that in a years time, I will look back on entries and say "hey, I remember that day- that was friggin awsome".

So far, I am really loving just getting some daily thoughts out and reading the (few) comments that I get. I really appreciate that you take the time to read my blabber. There are also so many well written, humorous blogs out there that I am loving reading and I keeping coming across more and more daily. I may have to quit my job and become a professional blog reader! Dont know how well that would pay tho...

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens

2008-02-18T11:25:00.005+11:00

Well, so far it seems I do a lot of whinging on this blog. Which is pretty strange cause my fam & mates would most likely describe me as a very positive bubbly person. Although I do admit one of my worst traits is to hold my cards VERY close to me chest. It takes a lot to get me to open up and to trust people. I do sometimes hide my true feelings and suppress whatever I am feeling and just have a good time in the moment. I am very good at masking unhappiness, which is not to say I am unhappy per se. But we will get into that another time.

So lets turn that frown upside down and list a few of my favourite things.

1. Having someone give me a loooooong back scratch. Forget massages, just scratch.

2. Good coffee. Best I have ever had is in Broadbeach on the Gold Coast at a place called Crema. Lucky I get to go there pretty often as my mum lives on the GC.

3. Speaking of mum, getting to see her when I can and also getting to see my dad (who lives on his farm in central NSW) makes me so so so happy.

4. Kisses and cuddles and snuggles on a sunday morning when we dont have to do anything but be lazy all day.

5. Thunderstorms, especially when I am home. Not a fan of them while driving tho...

6. Roast dinners. Even better if I didnt cook it.

7. Nans and Pops. No matter how old I get, I still feel like a kid when I go over there. They also never let you leave without loading you up with an assortment of home cooked foods.

8. Driving by myself, destination unknown with the windows down and stereo up to 10.

9. My animals never fail to bring a smile to my face. So much personality and unconditional love.

10. Parties, loud music, good food, better wine and dancing and laughing til dawn.

11. Family Guy. That shit cracks me up.

12. My never fail song to get me singing and moving is Turn Back Time - Cher. Yes, I am a dork.

Anyone who actually reads this - what are some of your favourite things?

xoxo

Pissing me off right now

2008-02-17T22:31:00.004+11:00

Sitting home tonight after a REALLY boring weekend, I feel the need to get a few pet peeves off my chest. So here is a few things that piss me off

1. Assholes who think they're the shit ducking a weaving thru traffic. Noone thinks you're cool. You're a dickhead.

2. Strange people from strange lands adding me on facebook. Why?

3. Tradespeople who don't show up on time if at all. Hey, I am paying you for a service that you are supposed to provide, hard if you dont even show up.

4. My bloody dogs barking at the bus that goes past our house regularly. Not at cars or trucks. Only the bloody bus. We have lived here for 4 years aren't they used to it by now? Or do they have a memory similar to a goldfish?

5. Restuarants who can't get simple orders right. Yes, there is a big difference between a cappucino and flat white.... namely the chocolate on top.

6. Mondays. Enough said.

7. My ipod which has about 6000 songs on it playing the same ones on random constantly.

8. Laundry. I haven't washed in a week (pure laziness) and am now going to be facing a hefty dry cleaner bill tomorrow when I dump all my clothes down there in the morning.

9. The fact I dont have a personal chef. I am a terrible cook but love fancy food. And I'm hungry now, I want something yummy.... please???

10. Blowdrying and/or straighening my hair. Such a chore.

11. Natalie Basingwhateverhernameis. Loving So You Think You Can Dance. Hate the host.

12. Premenstral aches, pains, emotions and moodswings.

13. The fact that all of the above is affecting me today.

xoxox

Getting to know you.....

2008-02-14T14:15:00.002+11:00

This got emailed to me today and I actually bothered to take the time to respond and send it back to my friend. So I thought I might post it here as well....

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7.45am - I slept in! Lucky no traffic this morning

2. Diamond or pearls? Diamonds!

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Ummm.... Cant remember last I saw at cinema but the last movie I watched was Superbad (super crap)

4. What is your favorite TV show(s)? Gossip Girl, ANTM, So you think you can Dance, Entourage, Americal Idol, Family Guy, Lost, Dr 90210 and more

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Large flat white no sugar

6. What food do you dislike? Lettuce and nuts

7. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Velvet Revolver - but ipod is always on random, so whatever comes on that I don’t skip!

8. What kind of car do you drive? Beep beep Barina

9. Favorite sandwich? Ham, cheese tomato toasted

10. What characteristic do you despise? Liars and bullshit artists

11. Favorite item of clothing? White Cue short sleeve cropped coat that I bought recently

12. If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? Europe - All over!

13. Favorite brand of clothing? Saba & Witchery at the moment - but changes regularly

14. What was your most recent memorable birthday? 25th - Had a huge party with all family and friends. It was a fantastic night.

15. Favorite sport to watch? Moto GP and SuperBikes. Love them, but not sport like cricket or footy

16. Are you a morning person or a night person? NIGHT!!

17. What is your shoe size? 7

18. Pets? - 3 dogs - Duke, Lola & Ralph, Cat - Bobo and 5 Oscars (un-named)

19. What did you want to be when you were little? Ballerina

20. How are you today? Tired

21. What is your favorite candy? Crunchy M & M's right now.

22. What is your favorite flower? Tulips

23. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? 15th March - Going to the Gold Coast to celebrate my Mums 50th birthday in style!

24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple

25. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mum

26. Favorite soft drink? Diet coke

27. Favorite restaurant? Il Buco

28. Hair color? Really dark brown – but my hair colour changes all the time!

29. What was your favorite toy as a child? Pebbles - My child (doll)

30. Summer or winter? Winter

31. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs

32. Chocolate or Vanilla? I like them equal

33. Coffee or Tea? Coffee

34. The last time you cried? Not too long ago

35. What is under your bed? 2 suitcases and some bags of old clothes I have to dump in a St Vinnies Bin but have been to lazy to do!

36. What did you do last night? Celebrated my Pops birthday at their house

37. What are you afraid of? Cockroaches and all creepy crawlies

38. Salty or Sweet? Salty

39. How many keys on your key ring? Too Many! Not even sure what some are for!

40. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

41. Do you make friends easily? Yes

42. How many people will you send this too? Everyone!

Happy Valentines Day!

2008-02-14T10:41:00.005+11:00

We dont really "do" valentines in my household, its usually pretty much a non event. I am not especially concerned about this as to be honest, it is just a day for Hallmark and the florists to rob the general public blind. IMO. But I cannot believe how expensive flowers are today. I was stopped at the lights this morning beside a little roadside seller and he was selling the most cheapest looking tiny bunches of carnations for $40 bucks each. WTF?!?!

I personally would rather my man suprise me with a bunch of flowers (not carnations) on ANY other day of the year, as I would know that he actually thought me and is not just doing it cause he feels he HAS too.

But I did get an sms this morning from him that there will be something special at home waiting for me. Blackforst cake from cheesecake shop!!! Mmmmmmmmmmm my all time favourite. Gotta love the cake!

Toilet Talk

2008-02-13T11:28:00.000+11:00

I am fortunate enough to work in a small office with only 2 other girls, but I am unfortunate in the fact that we dont have our own ladies loo in our actual office, we have a shared bathroom on our floor. Which you wouldnt think would be too bad, as the cleaners go through 3 times a week and there is a plentiful supply of loo paper, hand towels and soaps etc. What is a problem is the absolute filth that is our bathroom everyday. Put it this way, we have a bit of a multi-cultural floor in our building and in one particular culture it is commonplace not to sit on the toilet, but to stand on the seat and squat over it. I kid you not. Now, its not my place to judge what you do in the privacy of your own stall but judging from the look of the toilet seat and floor, these peeps dont have great aim. It all seems like a bit of a hassle really, if you think about it. They probably need to take their shoes off (not sure about this- but heels would be a bit of a balancing act) and most likely take their completely pants off? But really, if you make a mess in there - Clean it up! Cause I sure as hell dont want to wipe up your piss.

The other thing I have a problem with is the lack of hygiene. I am sitting in a stall, doing my business and someone else has finishes theirs and just walks out the bathroom door. No hand washing. I dont want to touch the bathroom after that! Filthy fuckers.

Its not a public toilet (although it is sometimes worse than one). I know who you are. There are not that many women on our floor. Have some common decency.

God I wish we had our own loos!

Bad Habits

2008-02-12T13:28:00.000+11:00

My boyf has many a bad habit. (Mind you, I probably have a few myself, but they dont annoy me). The biggest one is that wherever he takes an item of clothing off it is left exactly there. Socks at the back door, work shirts (which are FILTHY -he is a painter) on the *new* lounge, jumpers in the garage, WET towels on the carpet etc etc. All of this annoys me, but what pisses me off the most is come Monday morning when he is looking for one of the items above it seems to be MY fault that they are not washed! I say "Everything is washed - look in the laundry basket - empty"

Oooooohhhhh right, it dawns on him that all his clothes are scattered throughout the house - usually by this stage under or behind a lounge or other such hiding places and the realisation hits- Not washed. Not my problem. He can wear smelly clothes to work.

Second best annoying habit, and I am pretty sure I will not be alone in this one. Boys cannot cook a meal (even a simple one like a toasted sandwich or a stirfry) without the kitchen looking like WW3. I hate to think what it would look like if he was trying to cook a gourmet meal or something. Fair enough, I know he's cooked me something, but dont expect me to clean up a hundred pots and pans! Clean that shit up yourself.

Now my house might be starting to sound like a bit of a pigsty, but I can assure you that its not. I am a little bit of an anal "tidier" Every room is tidy.But I wouldnt say that I am the best Cleaner in the world cause I hate mopping, vacuuming and dusting, but the boy does those 3 for me *sweet* (I think more so, because he bloody vacuums like someone would mow a golf course, perfectly straight lines!?!!) To me, its clean, no matter which way the line on the carpet are going.

And he also forgets bin night more often than not. Which sucks majorly when just the grass clipping take up 3/4 of the bin. Stinky.

I bitch alot, but he's not too bad. I think I'll keep him. xoxo

Shopper

2008-02-11T22:38:00.000+11:00

My latest purchass!

Had a veeery crappy weekend of non stop rain on saturday and a migraine on sunday... me thinks I deserve an extra 2 days off for that shit!

Got to work today to discover that one of my fav bands Velvet Revolver have cancelled their concert for this weekend..... *sobs*... I had f*%#n fantastic tix too.... 3rd row!

xoxo

The First One

2008-02-08T15:21:00.000+11:00

Welcome to my blog!

Ok, so I am a virgin blogger so go easy on me while I try to figure all this - I am not exactly what you would "Tech Savvy" so sorries in advance! (if anyone even bothers to read me!)

Right then, a little background on moi... hmmm, well I am a wannabe city gal who happens to live in the toilet bowl of sydney, or otherwise known as the "western suburbs" (certaintly not my first choice - but hey you try finding something other than a 1 bedroom flat under 500k in Syd) with my fiance (of whom there will be many a bitchy post about!). I have fabulous friends whom I adore and can count on for anything, a boss who irritates me muchly and an expensive handbag habit.

Oh yeah, and I have this weird obsession with Criss Angel atm - you know that show Mindfreak on fox8? Hot - in a goth kinda way....

I am Tv junkie, honestly I have a hard drive recorder and 2, yes 2, foxtel IQ's in my house, just so I dont miss a moment.... although finding time to watch ALL the shows I like while also trying to have a life is a bit of a struggle, but meh, I need me TV fix like Whitney needs her whack crack.

I also have developed a strange obsession with all these prego celebs right now.... Whats with that? How the fuck do they all seem to stay so skinny?

Ok well this is a good enough post for now, will talk to ya'll soon!..

Bonnie