I am still alive....

Ok, ok, I will write something.

Thanks Andy for the little push.

I have been busy, tired and lethargic lately and to be honest, blogging was not on the top of my to do list (sorries!). It seems whenever I get a spare 5 mins I am laying down & closing my eyes. I have been really caught up with work lately as we had a girl leave (mind you, there were only 3 of us!) and took us about 6 weeks to get a replacement this week. So slowly things are returning to normal around the office. Not for long though.... I have informed the director I will be cutting my hours back to part time effective next week. YAY! My commute every day is at least an hour each way, stuck in traffic, job is stressful so my fiance put his foot down and told me to cut back. I wasn't going to argue with that.

So with a bit of extra time on my hands next I will be able to catch up on all my interwebs friends lives. Hope everyone is doing well :)

So what else to report..... I now have less than 12 weeks to go til I become a mummy (scary!) time if flying a little to quickly for liking. I feel I am not yet up for the challenge. There has been many a teary conversation at night. I am scared. I am nervous. I am not sure how I will cope with a newborn. Cannot fathom how I will function without sleep. I still don't really know the first thing about babies, despite reading every baby book known to man. Ask me anything about pregnancy, I will be able to give you a perfect answer. Ask me something about babies and I get it right maybe half the time. I feel like I am studying for the HSC and the info is going in one ear and out the other, and the exam is tomorrow.

I feel so extremely lucky my fiance has been so supportive. He keeps assuring me that everything is going to be fine, I will be a great mother, I will know what to do. I am thankful that he think those things and tells me so.

It's really funny you know, in any other situation I am the most laid back person, knowing that everything will work out in the end... my fiance on the other hand thinks the absolute worst of everything, a real glass half empty person. When it comes to becoming parents we are the exact opposite. Although I sometimes think that he believes it going to be a lot easier than what it really is.

Please don't take me the wrong way, I am not depressed, far from it really. I can't wait to meet my child, look in his eyes, have his tiny hand wrapped around one of my fingers, kiss his cheeks, see who he looks like... but I still doubt myself a bit.

Gosh, what a downer of a post. I will have to come back tomorrow and write something a bit more upbeat I think.