Drugs are bad....Mmmkay..... (its a long one)

So I got a bit of bad new this afternoon.

You see, my cousin and her boyf have an ice addiction. She has been doing this for quite a while, probably about 18months to 2 years. I don't know exactly how long or how it all started, who's idea it was, who's connection they got it from. But to be completely honest I have known that they do this for a pretty long time. Probably about 12 or so months. I have bugged and pestered her to stop for as long as I can remember. It was blatantly obvious to me that she was doing it. I could see it in her eyes. They had that empty, glassy look. When making my little "drugs are bad" speeches I could see that the words were having little to no effect. On the same hand though, I NEVER thought it had gotten as bad as what it had. Cuz still went to work everyday, came out partying, met the girls for lunches, functioned well in normal society. She never stole to support her habit. She had a good job, he had his own business which was always doing well.

There was less than a handful of people who actually knew about the drugs at all. She kept it pretty well hidden and no-one suspected anything. Her sister and I knew. And both of us had the same reasoning. It wasnt affecting her day to day life. She still was doing all the things that a responsible adult should do, and yeah, she smoked a bit of ice. What harm? A lot apparently.

She was first taken to hospital late last year (maybe oct/nov - I'm a bit vague on dates) after flipping out on the side of the road in Newcastle. She was kept in the psychiatric ward for a few weeks and then discharged to her mothers care(who lives in qld). She stayed up there for a month or so before coming back to Sydney. Right back to her long term boyfriends home. Why? I dont know. I cant think that my aunt would have loved this idea. But Cuz does what Cuz wants.

Everything seemed to be going good for her. I saw her at Christmas time and she had put on a lot of weight and was looking healthy. She seemed to be in really good spirits. I have not actaully seen here since. I have spoken to her and texted her. But I had no idea she was downward spiralling again.

I got a phone call today from Cuz to say she was back in QLD at her mums house. Apparently 3 weeks ago she had another breakdown and the police picked her up wandering the streets at all hours of the morning barefoot in pyjamas. They took her to a hospital and again she was committed to the psychiatric unit for a 2 week or so stay.

This time it looks like things may be a bit different. She has broken up with the boyf, her mother went and cleared all her stuff from their home. She says that she will be staying in qld with her mum for at least 6 months. She has changed her phone number and cut ties with friends in common with the boyf. She is taking medication and going to counselling and at least her mum is there to make sure those things happen. I sure hope so.

I feel a little guilty that I didnt try to do more earlier on, maybe talk to her more about stopping or tell her parents. Maybe it could have been avoided. But thats a big maybe. As much as I know about people with addictions all the talking in the world cant make them stop if they dont want to. And she obviously didnt want to. There also seems to be a lot of blame being tossed around directed at her boyf. As much as he is not a good influence on Cuz, it's not his fault. He didnt hold her down and make her do it. Cuz would have to be the most headstrong person I know. If she didn't want to do something you couldnt make her if you tried.

Cuz is one of my best friends, she is hilarious, honest, bubbly, spontaneous, a real bundle of laughs and fun, and I hope and pray that she will become the same person again. She is only 23 years old.

The really scary part is how quickly drugs can take over your whole life and turn it upside down. You may think that you have everything under control but then whoosh... it bites you on the ass HARD.

I am no anti-drugs nazi. I have taken my fair share in my lifetime. On occasion I still do, if the mood takes me although its pretty rare these days. I am not as big a party animal as I used to be. But it has made me think twice about what I will and will not take.

Take care Cuz and all my love and good wishes to you.

xoxox