:-(

Today I am feeling really sad.

I feel that I have a rather life changing decision to make, one that I have been putting off for a while.

I don't want to do what I know I have to. I don't know if I actually have the strength to do it yet.

I am afraid of the dramas my decision may cause.

I'm not ready to even discolse to the interwebs exactly what is going on.

Hmmmm.

It's been a year?????

Holy crap.

I will have to think up something AWESOME to blog about.

But I can't think of anything. Having a 10 month old child will do that to you, I guess.

That being said, I have had the greatest year so far of my life. Being a mummy to my gorgeous little boy Nash is most definately the best thing I have ever done.

Here's a couple of pics...





See... he is a cutie, ya gotta agree!!!

The funny thing about parenthood is that you go into it with all these great plans for what kind of parent you are going to be and what you will and will not do in certain situations. I have had to go and eat a big ass slice of humble pie recently. Top 2 being......

TV is not a babysitter

Hell yeah it is!!!! I can plonk him down in front of Dora the Explorer or Yo Gabba Gabba and get plently of *ahem* housework done. Although I am at the point where if I have to watch the same Dora episode one more time I might just off myself.

I will not cage my child

Not really, but those playpen things are a GODSEND. Nash is turbo crawling at the moment and kid is obssesed with the tv cabinet, foxtel box and vertical blinds, among other things. If I even look away for half a second he is into one of the aforementioned. At least now I can go to the loo knowing that my blinds are still going to be up when I get back.

I still really don't like kid-leashes and am totally not ever going to use them, but ask me again in a few months and we'll see if the answer is still the same.

I am officially OLD

That's right. I am.

I just ordered my first set of Tupperware.



You can tease me now.

I *might* be starting to move on to my nesting stage of this pregnancy. Considering I spent last weekend on my hands and knees (!) pulling apart and scrubbing every inch of my refrigerator. Add to that dusting and polishing skirting boards, vacuuming, windexing every square inch of glass in the house, mopping..... you get the point.

I have made plans with myself to clean out the kitchen pantry this weekend and get rid of food that expired 3 years ago. Then when my tupperware arrives I can sort all the flours and sugars etc into these wonderful plastic containers that I can make labels for and stack neatly.

Seriously, someone slap me now. I know what I am doing is so far removed from how I am normally I just can't stop myself. Fiance thinks it's a friggin hoot, as he is the one who normally does all the cleaning. I am a tidier and want to have things in the right spot, but I don't care much about dust or fingerprints on glass, or the vacuuming.....

I also fully intend to go to Ikea first thing on Wednesday morning to purchase some pretty storage boxes and cane baskets to sort out the spare room (which is currently a dumping ground).

I do hope this phase at least lasts until I sort this house out. That would be fabulous. At least it gives me something to do rather than just sit on my ass watching foxtel all day.

I am still alive....

Ok, ok, I will write something.

Thanks Andy for the little push.

I have been busy, tired and lethargic lately and to be honest, blogging was not on the top of my to do list (sorries!). It seems whenever I get a spare 5 mins I am laying down & closing my eyes. I have been really caught up with work lately as we had a girl leave (mind you, there were only 3 of us!) and took us about 6 weeks to get a replacement this week. So slowly things are returning to normal around the office. Not for long though.... I have informed the director I will be cutting my hours back to part time effective next week. YAY! My commute every day is at least an hour each way, stuck in traffic, job is stressful so my fiance put his foot down and told me to cut back. I wasn't going to argue with that.

So with a bit of extra time on my hands next I will be able to catch up on all my interwebs friends lives. Hope everyone is doing well :)

So what else to report..... I now have less than 12 weeks to go til I become a mummy (scary!) time if flying a little to quickly for liking. I feel I am not yet up for the challenge. There has been many a teary conversation at night. I am scared. I am nervous. I am not sure how I will cope with a newborn. Cannot fathom how I will function without sleep. I still don't really know the first thing about babies, despite reading every baby book known to man. Ask me anything about pregnancy, I will be able to give you a perfect answer. Ask me something about babies and I get it right maybe half the time. I feel like I am studying for the HSC and the info is going in one ear and out the other, and the exam is tomorrow.

I feel so extremely lucky my fiance has been so supportive. He keeps assuring me that everything is going to be fine, I will be a great mother, I will know what to do. I am thankful that he think those things and tells me so.

It's really funny you know, in any other situation I am the most laid back person, knowing that everything will work out in the end... my fiance on the other hand thinks the absolute worst of everything, a real glass half empty person. When it comes to becoming parents we are the exact opposite. Although I sometimes think that he believes it going to be a lot easier than what it really is.

Please don't take me the wrong way, I am not depressed, far from it really. I can't wait to meet my child, look in his eyes, have his tiny hand wrapped around one of my fingers, kiss his cheeks, see who he looks like... but I still doubt myself a bit.

Gosh, what a downer of a post. I will have to come back tomorrow and write something a bit more upbeat I think.

Spank me, my bad.

I have had zero time on my hands to read any of my favourite blogs.

I miss reading you all..................

Between my birthday (thanks for all the bday wishes!), having my mum down from Qld, having a very busy social life this past week or so and work being super busy I haven't had any time to indulge in net surfing time :( Well I lie a bit, I have, but very very limited and I have been satisfying my ebay and online purchasing of clothing cravings. In other words, spending too much money.

I promise I will try to catch up on you all very soon (gotta love google reader!) Call me a slack ass if you too!

Another year older.....

So my day began at 7am (wtf?) when my Mum decided to call and wake me up to wish me a happy birthday. Thanks Mum. Lucky I had the portable phone next to me and didn't have to get out of my nice toasty bed, its friggin frezzing here and my fiance turned the heater off (again wtf?) it was like 3 degrees this morning. I kindly requested that he turn it the fuck back on, so when I get out of bed in half and hour I don't freeze my tits off.

As I attempted to get ready for work I was bombarded by telephone calls (thanks, but really, why can't you people all wait until I have had a shower?) was running about 25 mins late by the time I left for work, then got to sit in traffic for aaaaaages whilst idiots slowed down for a sticky beak at the accident (minor fender bender) on the freeway.

Good day so far? Not so much. Will it get better? Of course it will!

My mum is flying down from the Gold Coast this afternoon so YAY! I haven't seen her in a few months, so that will be awesome.

My fiance has organised a little family and friends dinner tonight, so that will be lovely.

I hope he remembers the cake. Mmmmmmmmm, black forest cake. My favourite.

Wednesday Morning Funny

My fiance and I were on the lounge the other night watching telly and an ad for (I cant remember the exact brand) panty liners comes on with a woman who has been out all day and night clubbing and dancing (you know the type!) and says something about keeping your knickers "fresh" for 16 hours while on the go.

He couldn't understand why in 16 hours your knickers wouldn't be fresh?! And proceeded to ask me how many times I / and or women in general change knickers every day??

I looked at him kinda weird and said Oh, you know, depends if you have discharge and how much, thats why you use panty liners...

He looked at me horrified and exclaimed "What....? Do vaginas leak during the day???????"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA